Agent Search Mania 2010

When I started this blog at the beginning of 2008, I had just spent the previous year trying to find an agent for my first novel. My first entries were about the search for representation, and ultimately, about rejection. I'm still trying to figure out how to revise that book to make it more marketable while still allowing it to retain its unique "charm," but that's another story. 

Last November, I finished my second novel, and although I'm still revising, I'm getting ready for Agent Search Mania 2010 or ASM-10. There are a few things that need doing, so let's talk about them. Since the two books I have written thus far are YA books, it's time I rejoined the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators. It's also time I took stock of the publishing world's present state, so I went to the newsstand today and purchased some writing magazines to look up contests and to research agencies.

I read three such magazines today, and there are some really useful articles and tidbits there. However, I must say that when I read these magazines, I get anxious, itchy, and impatient. I always think, why am I reading about writing when I could be writing? Because although I think researching and preparation are useful parts of the process, I firmly believe that only writing is writing. Thinking, outlining, getting inspired, these are all wonderful, important things, but seriously people, only writing is writing.

And if I may add to the last thought something else, most of writing is re-writing. Sure, it's hard enough to get a coherent story on the page, but it's harder when you realize that almost nothing comes out of the pen or onto the computer screen perfectly on the first try. Once in a while, you may write a beautiful line that comes out even better than you planned, but those lines are rare. A writer mustn't be afraid of imperfection; a writer must work with it, day after day, and make the best of it.

I really like the last sentence I wrote, but I'll be the first to admit, I crafted a couple of versions of it before I was satisfied. Nothing was born perfect (except for my nieces).

Off I go, revising and sending out query letters and trying to figure out how to be a successful novelist. In the back of my mind, another book is brewing. I've made some notes, started outlining, but it's on the back-burner until the revisions are done. There is so much work ahead so I'll keep you posted.

Momentum

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up early and and spend the day accomplishing everything on your list? I mean, you are just knocking those errands out, crossing things off the to-do list like crazy, because you, my friend, have momentum. On the other hand, have you ever had a day when you just couldn't get started? When, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't get the lawn-mower working no matter how many times you pulled that cord? The difference is momentum.

Lots of things can hamper momentum. On a small scale, fatigue can make it hard to get going. Sickness can do the same. Having a bad day or running into a person who just saps all of your energy are also culprits. On a large scale, momentum can be hampered by fear, depression, or anger: the same three things Yoda warns Luke about when they're having their whole "Dark Side" convo. Do you have any idea how many people in the world don't follow their dreams or stay at their dehumanizing jobs because of these three things? The only kind of momentum you're going to find under these conditions is the kind that leads you right down into the pit of despair and, below that, good old rock bottom. Angry people are too pissed off to get anything useful done. Fearful people are too afraid to do anything. Depressed people aren't your movers and shakers. When these obstacles lie in your path, you have to do whatever you can to remove them. Life moves. It does, and in order to move with it, you need some momentum.

Right about the time I started my dissertation, my friend D was finishing hers. She mentioned to me that there would come a time in my dissertation-writing--towards the end--where I would feel a wave of momentum carrying me to the end. I was still at the beginning, so I didn't really know what she was talking about, but damn it if she wasn't right. Somewhere, after all the initial research is done, after the chapters have been laid out and sketched out and drafted, there is a wave that carries you to the last word. You'd think that would be the point at which you are the most tired, the most depleted of your resources, and you are. You absolutely ARE! But then, it's like those runners who get that last kick in just before the end of the race. I don't know if it's a rush of adrenaline once you see the end is in sight, or if you finally find your way through to what you want to say, but it's a unique feeling.

Since I finished writing my dissertation four years ago, I've had a few friends call me up for advice on how to keep going, how to keep the mometum up, while writing a dissertation. It's a lonely long-term project that requires a lot of self-discipline, so I understand why one might need some sideline cheerleading now and then. When I get calls or emails like this looking for help, I always tell my friends, keep your head down and keep working while you wait for that final kick. Don't anticipate when it will come. Don't keep looking back over your shoulder for it. Just keep your eyes on the prize and trust it will carry you away. When you're at the end of your mental and physical resources, your momentum will take you home.

I'm late posting this blog because I myself am feeling that momentum. I am very close to the end of my second YA novel. I am, in fact, within pages of the ending. A couple of thousand words away from the resolution. And I can feel it. I can feel an inevitable pull, a great wave of momentum to the end. I've been feeling it since I hit 42,000 words. Like a magnet getting closer to another magnet, I know the nearer I get, the more forceful the pull will get. So even though I know I must teach and pack for my conference and grade papers and do the dishes, that momentum will take me to the last word whenever I have a few hours to sit in front of my computer.

I can't tell you how much I missed this feeling.

Blog a week

Last time I posted, it was June. Lots of things have happened since then, and I won't even attempt to give details about most of it. The biggest change is that I'm single. This news has been treated with disbelief all around town, but I assure you it is true. I'm all right, but it's still difficult. Good days and bad days, you know.

Also, I visited Singapore in August. It was a life-changing trip, a spiritual journey of sorts.

School started back up and I've been working like mad at all of my jobs.

In general, it's life, only slightly more complex. The stress of the summer has subsided, replaced with the stress of the fall semester. I'm trying to take it all in stride and use the lessons I've learned.

I've come to many conclusions, but I'm only going to share one right now:

I don't write enough.

I want to be a writer so that means that I have to write. Every day. As much as I can. To this end, I'm challenging myself to blog more often. A Blog A Week is the plan. Starting next week. Well, I guess this is a blog entry, so...I guess it's starting this week.

Yes. More writing. So it is written, so it shall be done...or something.

~Hero

In the thick of it

I'm trying this again, lads and lasses. My first attempt at legitimate blogging did not last for long, so here I go, here I go, here I go....*sings* here I go. Again. Yeah. So. ANY-way.

I should mention that since I started my first blog over here (the one that went the way of the Tippett*), I have actually begun a professional writing mini-career. I now have gigs writing program notes for the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra and the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra. I've also become quite adept at writing promotional blurbs, and I've been hired to blurb (it's a verb now, don't you know) for the SPCO and the San Francisco Symphony. I still have my blog over at the LACO website so that keeps me off the streets...sometimes. So yeah, I have a decent sideline writing musical stuff.

What I really want to do is direct. Not really. What I really want to do is write fiction and I've been writing it, but I haven't really found anyone to read it (except for my charming, beautiful, fun, smart friends who have, of course, been the best support system a gal could want). In fact, my first novel has now been rejected by about a dozen agents. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. The book is a hard sell: graphic sex and drug use and it all takes place in high school. Hmm. The bright side is that some agents have actually read the thing (or so they say), so I'm glad at least that it's not hidden under the bed. It's out there, scary as that may be. And mixed in with all the rejection, there have been some lovely compliments:

"I'm deeply impressed and would invite you to submit more writing."

"You have great range in your writing."

"I found the concept to be an interesting twist on the traditional teen drama, and the narrative voice was convincing."

Of course, the lovely compliments are followed by "but" or "however." Nevertheless, I am undaunted. I am four chapters into another novel which is less of a hard sell, but at least one agent who has seen it thinks it might be too much like other stuff out there.

I think this is probably like what screenwriters go through: you have to write a movie that's enough like other successful films in order to get the green light, but it has to be unique enough to be its own thing. Maybe I went too far for the first book and not far enough on the second.

I'm in the process of revising the first book for one agent who was very encouraging. I'm trying to make the story arc a bit more traditional. We shall see. It's taking me forever to do because in addition to my mini-career as a writer, I have a maxi-career as a college professor. I'm busy, you see. But that's fine. It's what I want. I'd rather be stretched thin and working like crazy than be worried about where next month's rent is coming from. I have this pipe dream about being so successful as a writer that I get to quit my day job and do nothing but write eight hours a day, but I know that its rather unlikely. A girl can dream, can't she?

~Hero

*"Way of the Tippett" is a phrase my sister and I developed. It refers to Phil Tippett, a special effects guy whose stop-motion animation process--Go-motion!--was subsumed in the 80s by other, more efficient methods of animation. When something dies out unceremoniously, it goes the way of the Tippett. My apologies to Phil, who I've met and who is a peach. He's doing quite well in the special effects world, so don't you worry about Mr. Tippett.