Deca-Awesome List for the week of 4/27

In no particular order (although #1 is definitely #1 to me)

1. My Mom. It's her birthday on Friday and I love her more than anything. Her love is unconditional and that's an amazing gift. I don't have to be a great success for her to love me. I don't have to be married or give her grandkids for her to praise me. She would love me if I was a convicted felon in jail. She'd love me if I had a drug problem. She'd love me if I was a loser. But her love has made me a winner in so many ways. She is understanding and kind, and I owe so much of my success to her. The reason? She is an expert at dealing with people. I'm talking a really high EQ. I grew up watching her melt hearts of stone. She is amazing at reading people.

Someday she will write a book, or maybe we'll write one together. She worries a lot--and always has--but also realizes that her job as a mother is not to pass that worry on to the kids. When I was 18, she said something like this: "I love you so much, and I will miss you when you go off to college. You will always have a place here if you need it, but now is the time for you to move away and make your new life." I know she must have been fighting her instincts in saying something like that, because I know part of her wanted to keep us close. But she unselfishly looked beyond her own worry, and saw what was best for us (Dad helped too, I'm sure). Her love made me brave because I have always known that she (and my Dad) would be there to catch me if I fell. We are very close, almost psychically linked, and when I hug her, I feel like we're a puzzle with all the pieces clicked into place.

2. Being able to help. Nothing is more awesome than having a confused student come to office hours and walk away understanding what they're doing. Sometimes, it's as simple as re-explaining something to them. Sometimes it's just teaching them an alternate method of figuring something out. On the flip side is not being able to help someone who clearly needs it. That's frustrating as all get out.

3. Gel pens. They're not as reliable as a good old ballpoint, but they come in purty colors. The ones I'm using also have monkeys on them, so that's a bonus.

4. "Monkey-fighting." When Snakes on a Plane aired on commercial TV, they had to do something with the famous line from the movie. So, in their infinite wisdom, they changed the R-rated 13-letter word to "monkey-fighting." Yes. I'm not kidding. I couldn't make that up. They might as well have let him say, "I want these 12-sandwich-eating snakes off my plane."

5. Recovery. I have a friend whose Mom is recovering from a stroke, and she's doing great. Her physical therapy is making her stronger, and she's starting to be able to swallow again. She's not all the way back to normal or anything, but she's making progress, and that is a wonderful thing.

6. Doing whatever I want for my birthday. I don't have anyone to answer to, you know? No one who's planning "something special" for me that I don't even care about doing. Also, last year, I gave two finals and moved on my birthday. It sucked. I want this one to be better.

7. Found Time. I was supposed to leave my office to rush over to an appointment, and I was stressing about it a little. But then I checked my messages and found out that the meeting got canceled. Now I'm on Found Time!! (patent pending).

8. The Inner Game of Music. As a musician, I don't really need the advice because I already instinctively do a lot of things they recommend. But it has helped me so much as a teacher because I now have better ways of giving feedback. For instance, I try to make my comments action comments, like "try this" or "be aware of" or "listen for" rather than "don't do this" statements. It's hard to try to "not do" something. That doesn't mean that's not what you're saying, but there's a way to phrase whatever you want in the positive action way.

9. Bagels. I miss being in a city where there are bagel shops every twenty-five feet. If I want a bagel, I can't be spontaneous about it. That's annoying, because I love these bready delights. I only eat a half at a time now because they're huge and full of calories, but it's a nice Sunday morning treat.

10. My paternal grandfather, Frank. If memory serves, today is the (sixth?) anniversary of his death. He was a good man. Kind and funny and generous and silly and game for anything. He ran his own business, and he was tough. When local "businessmen" wanted to extort money from him, he didn't let it happen. He was brave and trustworthy. My sister and I used to go to our grandparents for an afterschool snack and to hang out before our folks got home. Grandpa made the best sandwiches ever. Mine was a ham sandwich on an egg or kaiser roll with orange juice to drink. YUM. I also learned to carve meat watching him and his ham hands. I love that guy, and not just because he bought me ice cream whenever I asked for it, but because he loved and took care of his family, because he doted on his wife, because he raised my father to be a great man, because he was a veteran, because he still looks after my grandmother in his way. He is sorely missed.