Building a Nursery for Possibility

I had a crazy dream a few nights ago. I don't usually remember my dreams, and if I do, they seldom make sense, but this one freaked me out because it was really vivid. I had no idea it was a dream; it felt scarily real.

In the dream, I was pregnant. I was probably only big enough to be about six months, but, when the baby kicked, I could see the outline of its foot in my belly. In real life, you don't really get that until the last weeks, but it was a dream, so, you know. From my reactions in the dream, I can tell you that this pregnancy was unexpected. I was getting ready to have the baby anyway, even though I was quite distressed about the whole thing, and when I finally woke up, it was with great relief that I realized I had been dreaming. I went back to sleep for a little while after that, but when I woke up, the dream was still on my mind.

Why did I dream this? Well, I just babysat for two little ones last week, so maybe little Michael and April were on my mind. My sister is five months along with her second child. I sent a bunch of baby clothes and stuff to her, so I spent a little time perusing the items in Target's baby section. My own biological clock? Still very much on snooze if the relief I felt upon waking up is any indication. So...what does it mean?

Well, I asked the interwebs, and they suggested that a pregnancy dream can be indicative of a new project, a new idea, about to be born. It can also mean the new start of something. Yes, I thought when I read that. Of course that's it. I am in the process of finishing my second book which has been gestating for quite some time. Also, I have just recently reiterated my pledge to continue writing. I've renewed my vows, so to speak (I wear a band on my right hand that signifies this commitment to my art), so perhaps this is the beginning of a new phase where I make time to write more. Also--and maybe this is a reach--I'm coming up on nine months of being single.

So, there are no human babies in my immediate future, but I am ready, willing, and able to give birth to ideas and stories. My life as a teacher and writer is still very much pregnant with possibility. There's pain in childbirth, there's sometimes pain in the act of creation, even if what you create exists only on a computer screen. But I'm willing to carry this metaphor to its limit. If it means sitting up late with a story that's fussy and colicky, I'm willing to be that story's loving mom. I'm good at feeding and nurturing other people's dreams (I am a music teacher, after all), so perhaps the dream is telling me that it's time to start paying closer attention to my own. 

Or it could have just been a crazy dream caused by eating cupcakes too close to bedtime.