Midterm Progress Report

Part IV in the Blog-A-Week Series

We've just about struck midterm here at school. Saturday will mark the end of week 7 out of 15. I thought that now would be as good a time as any to give myself a little midterm progress report. I've devised some categories and I'm going to evaluate how I'm doing in each.

School: I'm in the groove here. I have a big job ahead of me in the next week, making up the midterm for my Music Appreciation class, but it's completely do-able. My other classes are singing classes and we don't do midterms in those, so it's just like any other week. I've decided that I need to stay more in touch with changes in the educational zeitgeist so I think I might subscribe to the MENC (Music Educators National Council) publication. Also, I'm reading a couple of books to help hone my teaching technique. After all, I never thought I'd be teaching voice so it's high time I got fully on board with the program. This is my job now and will be for a while, so I might as well be the best I can be at it. Assessment: feelin' fine.

Accreditation: This would be going so much better if I had some time to do it. The report has been written (by many hands) in a language that is almost English. I'm constantly yelling at the computer screen nerdy things like, "No! NO! NO! Doesn't ANYONE care about syntax anymore?!?" or "That's NOT a verb! This sentence has no VERB!" or "For the love of GOD, stop misusing APOSTROPHES!!!!!" My roommate can attest that I spend as much time yelling at the computer as I do actually editing. It's slow-going, but it's getting done, and come hell or high water, it has to be done soon. Assessment: needs work (and time).

Program Notes: Can you believe I'm still writing these? Yep. St. Paul Chamber Orchestra still has me writing all the way through February. I have two notes due in the next few days and two corrections due ASAP. I'm getting them done, hopefully today. Assessment: Satisfactory, if slightly annoying.

Writing: I'm keeping up with the Blog-A-Week thing so that's good. However, I've completely neglected my two novels-in-progress, and I don't know if I'm going back to them any time soon. They're just not under my skin anymore. One of them, the adult one, I might abandon completely (for now, at least), just because it deals with a lot of stuff that was going on before the break-up and I don't know that I want to get back into that. I did come up with a really good idea for a funny book while I was on the couch at therapy yesterday. Might be therapeutic too. We'll see. Assessment: making progress, but needs work.

Social: Things are going well here. I think I'm making myself available for fun stuff. The duo I sing back-up for, Bunnies and Kitties, had a show last night and it was a very successful event. A lot of people came and I had a chance to hang out with Cael a bit. Maybe I'll have drinks with CP this afternoon (if I get my program notes done), and I think I'm going to see a movie with my roommate tonight. I have a dinner date with Cat tomorrow night. I saw Steve earlier in the week, and I had a chance to talk to Rebecca. I even got to see Pat briefly on Tuesday. In short, I'm maintaining a healthy social calendar. I do owe some folks emails. Assessment: Pretty good, but I better watch out that I don't overdo it.

Romantic: Let's not even GO there, shall we? Assessment: Ick.

Other: Well sir, I have some other projects that have been simmering on the backburner so long, I wonder if they're still viable. One is the Back to the Future paper. I feel like all I need is one full day to get this done. One full day of nothing but this, and I can get it into shape. If a full day of nothing does not present itself, I will take a mental health day from school and create one. All the other stuff (book proposal and article) will have to wait until after Thanksgiving, I think. Assessment: Entirely do-able.

Overall Assessment: I guess I'm doing all right. It helps to see it all laid out like this, I think. I've always been pretty good at prioritizing and keeping things on track. I find that I'm still catching up from summer work. Also, the events of the end of summer, i.e. the break-up and Singapore, sapped my energy for a period that was perhaps a little too long, but I must accept my humanity and extreme imperfection. Now I'm back and trying to go at it full force. I'm putting my head down and my shoulder to the wheel. Next time I look up, it might just be Christmas.

~Hero

An editor's life for me?

It's June 28 and I am in the midst of the craziest summer of my life. I thought last summer was crazy, and it was, but it was a different kind of insanity. More focused, let's say on one gigantic earth-shattering event. Last June, our L.A. family out here closed ranks around our friends whose ten-month-old was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We all spent plenty o' time in the hospital last summer, hanging out, bringing meals to our friends, trying to help out in any way we could. It's with joy that I say things are going well for that special little boy, and we've put last summer's focused insanity behind us.

This summer is entirely unique. I mentioned in an earlier post being a workaholic, and nothing has changed. It's just that the amount of work I'm required to do is...is...well, it's astonishing. In all my 34 years, I have never worked this much. I have never slept this little. Not even during the final throes of my dissertation. Not even when I was taking my comps. Or my quals, for that matter. Hell, the only reason I'm writing this blog is because I had to be up early to work and I had a quiet moment to do something for myself. 

I won't go into details about what I'm doing because those are facts that bore even me, but I will talk about the consequences of a schedule that involves teaching, the Aspen job, the LACO job, the SPCO job, and the publishing stuff. I'm not actually complaining because, first of all, doing these things has been my choice, and I have no problem living with my decisions. Second of all, I do feel so blessed to have so many opportunities. I realize how lucky I am to have this work, and I certainly haven't forgotten how awful it was to be a temp during the summertime.

I suppose what I'm doing here is enumerating the consequences of my choices. I'm not real big on regrets (they're kindofa waste), so I suppose this is just a way to take stock of the situation.

Casualty #1 - Jeff

My one and only is getting the short end of the stick because I haven't washed a dish since we moved. I've barely unpacked, I leave everything a mess, and I'm busy all the time. We usually go to the movies at least three times a month and we've only seen two movies this summer. It ain't right. Also, I miss him.

Casualty #2 - my friends

The juggling is hard to do. I want to maintain my friendships, stay in touch with people. Maybe even hang out once in a while. It's hard to do when you have so much on your plate. I miss my friends and I know some of them wonder just what the hell is up with me half the time. I do a pretty good job of making myself available, I think. And I try to be there for them if they need me, but I know some folks have fallen through the cracks and it just kills me.

Casualty #3 - my fiction

I haven't written a word of fiction in months. *shakes head* I was supposed to really hit it hard this summer, but that has just not happened. I haven't written. Not a word. And it just hurts.

Casualty #4 - my body

This temple is falling apart. I routinely get fewer than five hours of sleep a night, and when I pull all-nighters--which I do occasionally now (and which I NEVER did in college or grad school, for that matter)--I'm so tired, I get nauseated. I often forget to eat and then wonder why I'm so hungry hours later. When I do have the opportunity to go out, I drink. My liver is NOT a happy camper right now.

Casualty #5 - the apartment

Busy-ness makes me even sloppier than usual (poor Jeff has to live in and around my insanity), and my desk is a pile of unpacked, yet unorganized stuff Jeff affectionately calls, Mt. Crappy.

I don't know when things are going to change, but they can't stay like this forever.

This alleged "summer" is crazy, but I suppose I'm just going to eat it up with a spoon and embrace it for all its chaos. Such is life. My life.

Random fun on two legs

It has been a rough week-and-some since last I wrote. Deadlines tried to kill me, but I managed to survive. I had to write some emergency notes for one of my jobs over the last week. I cranked out the first set in a day, and it was fine. Then, on Sunday, I wrote nearly 400 words of fine information in about an hour. The notes were a little generic, but it got the job done. We missed the printing deadline anyway, so I now have the very great honor of making it less generic. Did I mention the piece I'm writing about isn't done yet? Yeah. That makes it easier.

I also handed in an almost-final draft of a paper about the score to Back to the Future. Even though I knew about this deadline since January, I hadn't had any time to work on it. So I wrote solidly from Tuesday until Friday night. Got about 5500 words done. I've heard nothing back from the editor, but I think that the paper is not a travesty, at least. I know, ringing endorsement. That's what the Nobel committee says when they're choosing a winner of the Lit Prize every year. "Well, this book should win because it's not a travesty." *sigh*

In other news, John Williams is coming to my school for a special concert. Yep. That Johnny Williams. The guy whose score to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom pretty much sealed my fate as a musician forever? The guy who spoke at my graduation from USC, signed my Harry Potter CD, and congratulated ME on my doctorate? The guy who was so gracious and kind and humble that meeting him actually made me collapse from overwhelm-ing-ness? That guy. He's coming to LACC as a guest. We're doing a Q&A with him, and then putting on a concert of his works and the works of some of our young composers here. In the concert, the chamber choir is singing "Double Trouble" from Prisoner of Azkaban, and I AM SINGING WITH THEM! Isn't it weird how life works? Years ago, I never thought I'd even meet the guy, but now I'm seeing him for the THIRD time (and introducing the Q&A), singing FOR him (Harry Freaking Potter, no less), and then having dinner with the guy afterwards. I suppose that means there's still some chance for other dreams I have.

In that last paragraph, I totally meant to complain about all the extra work the JW concert thing is causing us, but I got carried away. Suffice it to say, it's a lot of extra work, but it's going to be so worth it if it all works out.

So yeah, my dreams. There was a time back in the day when I really wanted to be an actor. Back before I realized I'd never play a leading lady. Back before I realized that I was destined to be the wacky neighbor for all eternity. Funny then, to make it all the way to Hollywood years later, but to come here as a damn musicologist and all around nerdlinger. I still think that somewhere down the line, I might go back to acting in some form or another. I'd be happy as the wacky neighbor now, I think. But here's the thing, I don't want to do the Hollywood actor thing. I want people I know to put me in their films. I don't want to go through the pain and suffering of auditioning. To paraphrase the older guy in an action movie: "I'm getting too old for that shit."

Maybe I'll take a step in that direction by taking those voice over lessons I've been putting off for years. If money and time are in abundance this summer, it'll happen We shall see. Right now, I feel pretty confident that dreams do come true, and if that's the case, I'm just going to keep wanting things.

~Hero