Momentum

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up early and and spend the day accomplishing everything on your list? I mean, you are just knocking those errands out, crossing things off the to-do list like crazy, because you, my friend, have momentum. On the other hand, have you ever had a day when you just couldn't get started? When, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't get the lawn-mower working no matter how many times you pulled that cord? The difference is momentum.

Lots of things can hamper momentum. On a small scale, fatigue can make it hard to get going. Sickness can do the same. Having a bad day or running into a person who just saps all of your energy are also culprits. On a large scale, momentum can be hampered by fear, depression, or anger: the same three things Yoda warns Luke about when they're having their whole "Dark Side" convo. Do you have any idea how many people in the world don't follow their dreams or stay at their dehumanizing jobs because of these three things? The only kind of momentum you're going to find under these conditions is the kind that leads you right down into the pit of despair and, below that, good old rock bottom. Angry people are too pissed off to get anything useful done. Fearful people are too afraid to do anything. Depressed people aren't your movers and shakers. When these obstacles lie in your path, you have to do whatever you can to remove them. Life moves. It does, and in order to move with it, you need some momentum.

Right about the time I started my dissertation, my friend D was finishing hers. She mentioned to me that there would come a time in my dissertation-writing--towards the end--where I would feel a wave of momentum carrying me to the end. I was still at the beginning, so I didn't really know what she was talking about, but damn it if she wasn't right. Somewhere, after all the initial research is done, after the chapters have been laid out and sketched out and drafted, there is a wave that carries you to the last word. You'd think that would be the point at which you are the most tired, the most depleted of your resources, and you are. You absolutely ARE! But then, it's like those runners who get that last kick in just before the end of the race. I don't know if it's a rush of adrenaline once you see the end is in sight, or if you finally find your way through to what you want to say, but it's a unique feeling.

Since I finished writing my dissertation four years ago, I've had a few friends call me up for advice on how to keep going, how to keep the mometum up, while writing a dissertation. It's a lonely long-term project that requires a lot of self-discipline, so I understand why one might need some sideline cheerleading now and then. When I get calls or emails like this looking for help, I always tell my friends, keep your head down and keep working while you wait for that final kick. Don't anticipate when it will come. Don't keep looking back over your shoulder for it. Just keep your eyes on the prize and trust it will carry you away. When you're at the end of your mental and physical resources, your momentum will take you home.

I'm late posting this blog because I myself am feeling that momentum. I am very close to the end of my second YA novel. I am, in fact, within pages of the ending. A couple of thousand words away from the resolution. And I can feel it. I can feel an inevitable pull, a great wave of momentum to the end. I've been feeling it since I hit 42,000 words. Like a magnet getting closer to another magnet, I know the nearer I get, the more forceful the pull will get. So even though I know I must teach and pack for my conference and grade papers and do the dishes, that momentum will take me to the last word whenever I have a few hours to sit in front of my computer.

I can't tell you how much I missed this feeling.