It is indeed a blessing that there are different personalities in the world and that there are people who like and excel at different kinds of things. I just spent the last six working days in jury duty, and during that time I watched lawyers and judges hustling through downtown with their file folders. Suits and shiny ties on the men, suits and painfully high heels for the women. I watched these folks going through their day-to-day jobs and I thought to myself, 'If I had to do this every day, I'd end it all.' It's not the suits so much, I wear them myself sometimes (although I prefer jeans and I refuse to wear heels unless it's a really special occasion). It's not the research that bothers me either. I love research. And libraries. No, it's the rest of the job. I don't have the stomach to argue every day. When I talk to groups of people the only thing I want hanging in the balance is knowledge, not someone's fate. I also lack the command of logic that I think might be necessary for lawyering. I assume it's necessary since that's what the LSAT tests. I'm decidedly illogical and often silly. I'm just glad those lawyers and judges do their jobs, and perhaps love doing their jobs, because lawyering and judging are not the jobs for me.
Likewise, I don't think I could work in an office 9-5 every day. I worked in an office all through college and afterwards. A few summers ago I temped for an agency that sent me out as an executive assistant for bigwigs in television production. I hated it. I hated making copies and setting up meetings. I hated rolling calls. I hated being told what to do all the time. I hated being "on-call" for someone else. It's not an existence I am comfortable with. But there are people who excel at such things, who pride themselves on their organization, their ability to predict what will need to be done, who thrive on the pressure to get things done right now. And I salute those people, because I am not one of them.
The job I feel most comfortable in is teaching. Unlike the office jobs that seemed a bit unreal to me at the time--why am I doing this? who is this helping? I never see or meet anyone affected by my work--teaching always seems so real to me. It's happening right now. It's alive and unpredictable. Teaching means interacting with people. In some ways, it's performing. I suppose that's one reason why people might not want to have my job. It requires public speaking, the ability to ad-lib and think on your feet. Patience is not a requirement, but it sure does help. I love doing it because the gratification is almost instant, and the payoffs are huge.
When jury duty was finally over yesterday, I sighed with relief. I didn't have to return to the courthouse again. I could get back to my life and back to the job that I am supposed to have. It was good to see how other people live, though. Good to see bailiffs, judges, attorneys, clerks, court reporters, and police officers all doing their jobs. Even though I'm not at the courthouse today, it's business as usual over there. Juries are being selected, the unwieldy vehicle that is the American justice system rolls on. But I'm here and I don't miss being there.
Besides, they'll call me back for a visit soon enough.
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