The 15 Commandments

I was waiting for someone on Saturday, and whilst waiting I was reading a story in the New Yorker about Zappos. You know, the shoe company. Zappos has a really intricate customer service policy and a pretty neat mission statement. Well, even though I've done mission statements in the past (they're great for a bulletin board!), I was inspired to think up some rules for myself. You might find some of them useful too. Call them my 15 Commandments. Because sometimes, 10 just isn't enough.

1. Visit New York at least once a year.

NY is where my family lives, so this one means go and connect with family. Remember who you are and where you came from. Also, drink and laugh with the people who made you.

2. Talk to family at least once a week.

No matter where I am in the world, no matter what I'm doing, it's a good idea to talk to parents, sister, or grandmothers. Which reminds me, I forgot to call my grandmas yesterday. Must do it today.

3. Don't lose sleep for work.

Work will be there in the morning. It's better to call it a night and start fresh in the morning than lose a night's sleep over work. Losing sleep is not healthy for me, and the repercussions last longer than a single night. Besides, sleep is where I'm a Viking.

4. Be open to new ideas.

I don't want to be one of those set-in-her-ways people. I reserve the right to reject an idea after I've given it some thought, but being open to new ideas, things, and people is definitely a good plan.

5. Don't be afraid to let old ideas go.

If it ain't working, get rid of it. It's better to admit that it's wrong than to waste time and energy trying to make it right. You can waste a lot of time, energy, money, etc. on such things. Believe me, I know.

6. Be truthful whenever possible.

This is a new one for me. I'm not saying I'm a liar, but it has in the past been my modus operandi to say I'm ok when I'm not, or to agree to something when I wasn't 100% convinced. I'm trying to be more truthful about my feelings and opinions, especially with loved ones. I'm pretty honest at work. It's just in the social life where I roll with the punches maybe a bit too often.

7. Make time for a friend.

I originally wrote "Make time for a meal with a friend" because nothing is better than sitting down to breakfast, lunch, or dinner with someone you love. Catching up is important and it's worth the time. Sure, you can grab lunch in 15 minutes at a drive through, but do you get to reminisce about that time we did that crazy thing? Do you get to drink a glass of wine? Do you get to laugh? I changed it to "Make time for a friend" because some of my friends live far away and a meal is pretty impossible. But I can make a phone date and catch up.

8. Write as often as possible.

For me, this is hard because writing takes a backseat to my other jobs. I do it when everything else is done. And guess what, everything else never gets done. So I just have to prioritize. Blogging every week seems to help this so at the very least, I'll do that.

9. Focus your energy on important tasks.

I am a laser beam sometimes. When I was writing my dissertation, I was a laser beam. I was focused and disciplined, and it was one of the most productive times in my life. I don't always find this focus nowadays. My energy is diffused in too many directions, but I plan to streamline a little bit so I can get some of that focus back.

10. Keep a journal.

Absolutely essential for me. Keeps me honest with myself. Should only be published after my death. And the deaths of everyone that's in it.

11. Be kind and fair.

Probably the thing I find the easiest to do.

12. Allow yourself a break now and then.

Probably the thing I find most difficult. It's like I have two settings: I'm either productive, getting stuff done, or I'm lazy and useless. There's only a sliver of ground between these now. It's a challenge to turn the computer off and stop working. It's hard for me to just sit, but I've been cultivating mindfulness, and it's been miraculous. If only I could just do it more often.

13. Visit at least one new place a year.

It's a big planet, and I haven't even seen the pyramids yet. I've gone a lot of places so far, but I think that it's a good idea to aim for a new destination every year. Ireland, Amsterdam, hell, I've never been to Chicago. The experience is always going to be worth the time and the money.

14. Be generous with your time and talent, but save some for yourself.

You can give so much away that you become empty, but only if you don't take care of yourself. I have to keep enriching myself and feeding myself so that there's always something to share. If I do that, I'll never run out.

15. Use anger as a fuel, not a weapon.

You're pissed off, right? Annoyed at something? Let it spur you to action. Let it be the combustion that drives your engine. Do something about it. Or just do something. Go for a run, start a campaign, talk it out with someone, vote, blog, rescue a kitten, donate some money, draw a picture, organize a committee, write a letter, seek out a hug, cry and then dry your tears and think of something you can do about it. For God's sake, don't yell at people, hit anyone, drive unsafely, destroy inanimate objects, waste time with blame, or just let it seethe. Anger is powerful so USE it to light up a city.

And a bonus one:

Laugh.

At most things. At things that are overly serious. At the driver who's making you late. At the way things appear to be falling apart. At yourself. In the grand scheme of things, it'll probably be okay. So take a step back and see the ridiculousness. You'll live longer.