Index card box with flowers

When I was in first grade, one of the activities we had in school was a reading group. For this group, we were required to have, among other things, an index card box. Into this box, we placed index cards with new vocabulary words. My Mom bought me a metal box which was decorated with pastel blue flowers. It had a yellow trim on the lid of the box and the leaves of the flowers were a light pastel green. But, Hero, you're probably saying, that was almost thirty years ago! How can you remember that box so well?

Well, because I'm not remembering it. I'm describing it because it's sitting right here on my desk at work. Yes, almost three decades later and three thousand miles away from where I first used it, this index card box is one of a few relics from my childhood. A lot of the stuff I grew up with is gone or still in my parents' house (sorry about that, Mom and Dad). A lot of the games I shared with my sister are with her (she's been in one place longer than I have). And when I moved out of NY nine years ago, I didn't take everything with me. So I have a few special things, including this index card box, and when I look at it, as I'm doing today, it makes me think of how much has changed over the years. I also think of what hasn't changed.

I'm still in school, for one. I'm a teacher and not a student, but learning is still my business every day. I'm taller. I don't wear a uniform every day (although some days I wish I did). I'm not afraid of Sister Anne anymore. I still hope that I am good enough. I still work hard. I still suck at sports. I handle stress better. I am more confident in my abilities. I'm a better friend. I'm more accepting of people. My handwriting is much, much worse. I still can't draw. I still play piano (slightly better now). I still like to color with crayons. I still fall asleep on the couch wrapped up in a blanket. I still don't like milk. I still love music and singing, but my voice is much stronger now. I'm clumsier now because my feet got big. My hair is darker, thanks to Loreal. I'm still something of a morning person. I still like scrambled eggs and cookies, but not at the same time. I don't like soda anymore. Ernie and Animal are still my favorite muppets. I watch less television now, but more movies. I like cantaloupe. I eat the stems of broccoli now (I never would as a kid). I stopped believing in some important things, but I still believe in magic and wishes and possibilities. I still have dreams, and some are even the same.

My vocabulary is bigger (the box helped with that, I guess), my world is bigger, my life is bigger now. But at the center of everything, I'm still the little girl who probably had to carry this little box to first grade in her two tiny hands. There's something beautiful about that.